Monday, February 01, 2010

Parenting with Astrology: Trying New Things

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 4 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, I’d like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions to

Jeanne writes:
My ten year old is a Gemini. She is terrified of everything. When she was younger we noticed that she would watch for a long while before trying anything new. For the last three or so years, she refuses to try anything that is new. How can I help Mandelyn learn to enjoy the risk of just "trying"?

This is one of the things I love about breaking open the stereotypes of astrology and letting people see how complex but also revealing and useful astrology can be. A Gemini afraid of trying new things is not the "norm" that pop astrology teaches us! So let's take a look at what's going on.

The source of this behavior is not immediately obvious; there is nothing in this chart that would indicate Mandelyn is necessarily shy or a perfectionist or anything of the like, and since I always look at the natal chart as what we've come to learn and even practice, a look at the condition of the south node in a chart can help us see what might underlie certain patterns of behavior. In this instance, Mandelyn's south node is in Aquarius, tightly conjunct Uranus. It's also in the 4th house, and in a square with Saturn. 

The Aquarius and Uranus influence tells me that Mandelyn is intensely individual. She entered this life with a a strong tendency to defend herself against any influence that might get her to change or adapt to others' point of view if it threatens her sense of self. In the 4th house, she may carry with her (subconsciously, likely) a sense of being different than others - like there is something fundamental in who she is, whether it be the family she comes from, race, religion, or just an internal feeling of alienation, that sets her apart from others. This can feel like a good or a bad thing (or both) to someone, but with Saturn squaring her south node, it's quite possible she carries a subconscious feeling of being ashamed of being different, or perhaps fearful of others finding out how different she is.

Saturn can represent authority, the status quo, and/or the 'rules'. Since she's school age, all of these things can be pretty influential in her life. She may have a fear of doing something wrong, against the rules or against the norm, and either being called out for it and shamed, or being 'discovered' that she is flawed. Therefore, it's a possibility that she's watching others for a long time to be sure she knows the boundaries of what's expected, so she can do it right. Normally I might see a child that has an issue like this with a lot of Virgo energy for example, which can bring with it an inherent fear of doing something imperfectly, but in Mandelyn's case, I would say it's less likely that she's not going to do it right as much as what doing it wrong would reveal about her or how she would be shamed for not falling in line. If your beliefs run in the direction of past lives, I would hypothesize that early in life, or in a past life, she experienced some trauma where revealing her true self cost her dearly. With Pluto also in her 2nd house, there can be a baseline fear not feeling worthy or like she has anything to give.

To give some advice, I'd need to talk longer with Jeanne about the question and see just in what ways she's holding back and how these situations develop, but overall I'd say that it's in one way, it's an issue of confidence, but I'd also encourage her to have a dialogue with her daughter and find out the reasons she gives for not 'trying new things'. While Mandelyn may not really be aware of her own rasons, or unsure of what they are, how she answers can be useful. I'd also be on the lookout for issues around breaking rules, or fear of faux pas or others judging her harshly, as these may be where the 'charges' are and an assist Jeanne in helping her unravel this issue.
Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.
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