Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Parenting with Astrology: The Will to Live and Thrive

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 4 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, I’d like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

My 8-month old son Heath experienced birth asphyxia (tight cord) and a mild injury to some motor regions of his brain. He was in intensive care for 35 days and his feeding instinct was disrupted due to long intubation. He eats almost exclusively via stomach feeding tube now, but is making good progress learning to eat orally. He is otherwise a healthy, happy, hilarious little boy with some minor, almost unnoticeable, physical delays, which he keeps overcoming, proving the docs wrong again and again. I would so appreciate your take on his chart, the resources he has to overcome his challenges, and clues to his life purpose so we can help him along.--Jennifer, Seattle

I tend to look at anyone's natal chart as representative of what they've come to learn, as opposed to what they already automatically are. We may carry these energies inherently as we enter the world, but learning to use them is the process of living. Given the stressful way that Heath entered the world, I immediately find the first house focus in his chart quite striking. The first house is about development of the self. While it could be argued that all of life (and the natal chart) is about development about the self, the first house represents the activities we do in life that are just for us, that are about learning who we are and to not be afraid to be that. Conscious selfishness might be a good way to think of it. Significantly, it is also the ancient house of health and the body. 3 planets, as well as his north node, reside in the first house, and his moon sits right on the beginning of it, all of this indicating that the development of self is key in his life. No doubt he'll find many ways to express this energy, but so far we can see the primal fight for his right to exist manifesting in the physical issues he's had and the way he's overcoming them. I'm most struck by the Jupiter and Mars conjunction. His will, desire, and physical constitution (Mars) are tied up with the principles of faith, risk, hope, growth and optimism (Jupiter). These planets are in Aquarius, a sign of individuation. With his north node in this sign and house and so close to these planets (as well as Mercury), much of his soul's purpose seems to be wrapped up in expressing his true self, learning to differentiate between what others want him to be and what he really is. Already he's thwarting others' expectations of him! Expect that to continue :)

His south node in the 7th house in Leo reflects the vulnerability for him to be good at getting other people to like him but sometimes in unhealthy ways, where he must compromise what he really is to please his 'audience' and receive validation and self-worth that way. In this life, it's about moving away from that and finding his own voice (Mercury), his own strength and desires (Mars) and his own confidence (Jupiter), based solely on the reinforcement of how wonderful it feels to be himself and how important his self-validation is. He's learning that the risk involved in being true to oneself can pay off, but he has to be willing to risk being alone and misunderstood. That is not his fate by any means but he's come into this life with a vulnerability to that assumption, and he will spend his life learning that when he is inauthentic in a relationship with anyone, all the love, validation, and attention of another will not satiate him because he will feel that he is loved for what he's pretending to be, not what he really is. Capricorn Rising and Moon tell me that learning self-sufficiency and a sense of his own natural authority will help him to self-validate. He wears the 'mask of the hermit'. The hermit is not meant to personify someone who is stodgy and unwelcoming, but who keeps his own counsel and does not need others, even though he may sometimes enjoy others.

He's learning to trust his intuition and his own point of view in a big way, which is reflected in his Sun in Pisces 2nd house, and moon on the Ascendant. While he's probably going to be able to put on a respectable and 'normal' persona, it's likely he's going to feel quite set apart and different from others, and that is meant to teach him that others cannot define him and that's quite ok. He is likely to wrestle to an exaggerated degree with what most children wrestle with anyway: being different is ok when you're watching Sesame Street, but in the real world, being different can be seen as a bad thing when you don't have the confidence in yourself and are always comparing yourself to others for how good or bad you are. This is something he is learning to grow beyond. You might be able to help him in this by giving him real world examples of how people that are different can actually be celebrated. Pretending the difference isn't there, whatever it turns out to be, is not going to be effective - he has a Capricorn moon and Rising and he's very realistic. So no need to sweep differences under the rug; just teach him how different everyone really is when you look closely and how to understand it's an asset.

Obviously there is a lot more to this story as a natal chart holds endless clues, but with so much of his chart wrapped up in the process of having the confidence to be his true self as well as testing and trusting that self, it tells me that the more you reinforce that your love is not based on his ability to charm you but on a real love for him as a person, the more he will feel the confidence to explore his own edges. He may need a lot of validation and attention, and it's fine to give him that, but empowering him by teaching him to turn inward for his own answers will help him to develop the self-sufficiency and individualism he's come for. Turning him back in on himself is going to require a delicate balance; give him the validation he will obviously need and yearn for, but at the same time, teach him that what HE thinks about life and about himself is far more important than what you think.

Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.
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