Parenting with Astrology: Expressing Feelings

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 6 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

Ayanna writes:

My 9-year-old daughter, Gaia, rarely says how she feels, even when asked. She expresses her feelings by curling up and being quiet or by "showing the face of being in agreement" but some behaviors play out revealing otherwise. I have noticed when she is ready she will talk but she will only share experiences not her feelings. She does not like to be pushed with her feelings.

My hope is that at some point she will feel comfortable talking about some of the issues that go on in her life and our family life in regards to her well-being. How can I best support her in this?

Gaia, 9 years ~ Click to enlarge

Amy answers:
Starting from some of the deepest levels and working our way up, I see that Gaia has a south node in Sagittarius, right next to Pluto, in the 10th house. In children (and even adults), Pluto can represent a deep fear, and the behaviors we create as defense mechanisms in order to shield ourselves from that fear. Sagittarius is a sign of many things, one of which is the formation of one's beliefs and the expression of those beliefs. The 10th house is where we find some of the most visible behaviors about a person. It, along with the 11th house, can be considered a house of the public.

Ordinarily the south node in outgoing Sagittarius in a public 10th house might indicate someone who's not afraid to express themselves. However, with Pluto there, I get the sense that she may have a deep fear of being "burned at the stake," figuratively speaking, for sharing her beliefs or expressing herself. There may be a fear of being seen on this level, because of the repercussions. She may not even be aware that she feels this or the depth behind it; it's frequent that even adults cannot exactly pinpoint the nature of certain Pluto fears, but the behaviors that stem from those fears are usually easier to spot, even if not easier to understand or change.

On the more practical, every day living level, her Moon, the planet of emotion and vulnerability, is in Scorpio, which is a rather private sign. Her feelings are likely quite deep and can even be overwhelming, but Scorpio doesn't like to reveal much about itself. Mercury, the planet of communication, is in her 8th house, which is also a placement emphasizing privacy. Her Mars and Sun in Virgo may sometimes have her feeling too anxious to allow the chaos of her emotions to be revealed, even to herself, as Virgo wants to control circumstances around them and remain in control of themselves so they are not overwhelmed. Even her Aquarius Rising can work against revealing herself, presenting a more detached face to the world than what's going on in the privacy of her heart.

Finally, Venus, the planet of relating, connecting, sharing oneself and receiving another, is also in private Scorpio, but it is in tension with her Aquarius Ascendant. Your observation about Gaia not liking to be pushed about her feelings is an important one. Aquarius pushes back when pushed. Trying to push in, even with good intentions, kicks up the automatic Aquarian defense: rebellion and contrariness. Letting her talk on her own terms while trying to be as free from agenda as a mother can possibly be (talk about tough) is the best bet to allow her the room to bridge the gap when she wants to. On those occasions she can trust herself and the moment enough to reveal, her Mercury in Libra will enjoy the perspective of another as a sounding board, and her Sun and Mars in the 7th house of partnership will appreciate the connection and validation.

Hope this provides some insight. Thanks for your question!


Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website. If you would like to submit a question for her monthly blog here, email her anytime!

Parenting with Astrology: Testing Limits

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 6 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

Misa writes:

My 7 year old daughter Aeryn is normally a cheerful, happy-go-lucky child, but over the last few months, I have noticed a change in her behaviour. She has been acting out quite a bit - yelling, talking back, or ignoring us completely, and doing things that she knows she shouldn't do.

I don't know if she is just testing our limits, if she is picking up stuff from the older kids at school, or if something else is going on with her. I was wondering if there is anything in her chart to explain this behavioural change.

Amy answers:
Many times specific behaviors or moods can be explained away by a passing circumstance, or a planetary transit in the case of astrology, where the behavior or mood can be 'waited out' until everything seems to return back to normal. Many people find they get more anxious, emotional, or high-strung around the full moon every month, for example, and once the peak of the full moon passes, we can get 'back to normal.'

With children, passing moods and the full moon 'crazies' can be just as fleeting, but since they are participating in more rapid development on all fronts in their path to adulthood, some changes in children can be thought of as a developmental threshold, rather than a passing phase, where the change is integrated as the child moves forward.

This concept of the development shift is something I think Aeryn has experienced recently with Saturn. Saturn was in the sign of Cancer when she was born and from that moment, has moved through Leo, Virgo, and Libra, where it formed a square in relation to Aeryn's natal Saturn late last year and a second pass this summer.

This first Saturn square happens to all of us when we're about 7 years old, and represents one of our first encounters with 'growing up.' Sometimes this corresponds with external circumstances that oblige the child to take on an additional responsibility or be more self-sufficient, but internally there is a growing sense of independence from the established authorities in one's life (teachers, parents) as we take on a smidgen of self responsibility and personal authority. Because it's a square, this isn't always a comfortable process and can represent a period of disillusionment with the authorities in our life.


This is significant but mostly because it's contextual for a more obvious astrological trigger, which is Saturn forming an opposition to Aeryn's natal Mars position. Mars is our sense of personal will and power, and encompasses our ability to act on what we want and defend against what we don't want. When Saturn opposes anything, we may feel a sense of being limited, thwarted, or blocked. In a child's life, Saturn is most easily projected onto the parents or teachers, because they are the rule-makers, so when this happened this summer, she probably started to exercise her will (Mars) to push back at the rule-makers (Saturn) in an effort to gain a sense of her own authority and capability.


These two things happened for the first time in late 2010, but occurred again this summer, and they've been joined by two more recent events which might have made them more noticeable. First, her progressed moon, which represents her evolving emotional needs, is in willful Scorpio, and has just moved into the 5th house, which is about self-expression - to be seen and heard. Also Uranus, the planet of rebellion and sometimes feisty individuality, formed a trine connection to her own Moon, adding a dose of rebellion. The rebellion is about wanting to express herself authentically, and it's easy for children to feel that they need to back the authorities off to have room to do their own thing.

In essence, the very real feelings for Aeryn probably have to do with her wanting to acknowledge and express that she has an agenda, an opinion, and some power - "testing your limits" as you said. Dealing with it is the classic parenting dilemma of needing to give her as much room as you can to make her own decisions (and understand their accompanying consequences) while still setting boundaries of your own about the rules of the house and your own personal boundaries about how two people should treat each other in a relationship of any kind to maintain respect for each other.


Thanks for your question!


Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website. If you would like to submit a question for her monthly blog here, email her anytime!

Parenting with Astrology: Socializing

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 6 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

Yahaira writes:

My son Gabriel has trouble socializing with other children. A few years ago, his 1st grade teacher told me that she's concerned about him because he keeps to himself at recess and doesn't actively try to play with the other children. She'd partner him up with a friend, but then he would go off by himself again. I know that he feels very lonely at times and feels left out and misunderstood by the other children, but I don't know how to help him or if I can help him.

Does his chart show why he isolates himself?

Amy answers:
Let's look at the broader picture first, and then whittle it down to the practical concern you voiced in your question.

If Gabriel often isolates himself, some of the reasons behind it may not be entirely worrisome. Gabriel has a Capricorn Moon, which tends to be more of a self-sufficient sign. Children with significant Capricorn energy in their charts are often the ones you see playing in their room on their own, content and happy, for hours. Capricorn tends to turn inward on itself, solving its own problems and finding its own entertainment. His moon is also in the first house, called the house of self, which further emphasizes this inner focus.

His Sun, Venus, and Jupiter are all gathered in Leo in the 8th house, which is also a private, inward-focused house. Leo is usually considered a very boisterous and outgoing sign, but not all Leos are loud-mouthed show-offs as their stereotypes would have us believe (nor is every Virgo a fussy, librarian type, nor all Cancers mother to 15 children -- you get the picture). The key element of Leo is self-expression, feeling that they have something in them that wants to shine and expressing themselves in any way they like. Leo is also about self-appreciation in the best sense, but sometimes learning to let yourself shine is a learned behavior, and having enough confidence to not hold yourself back out of fear of what others think. Since this desire to shine is in an inward-focused house, he shines 'inward', for his own pleasure and for those he trusts and can let into those private spaces.

I've always been a believer in the philosophy "your chart isn't what you are, it's what you are learning, practicing, and becoming." So three planets in the self-expressive/self-appreciative sign of Leo, and the self-referencing, independent influence of the Capricorn Moon, tells me that he has a need to build an inner sense of self-appreciation and confidence, not necessarily built on others' praise or opinion, but his own measurements.

The biggest 'culprit' here might be Pluto, as it sits right on his Sagittarius Ascendant. The Ascendant acts as sort of the gateway to us. It is how we interface with the world socially and how we appear to others, how we seem to be. There are many different factors incorporated into that: our demeanor, our style of dress, etc. A Sagittarius Ascendant usually lends a lot of optimism and a devil-may-care demeanor that others find entertaining, but with Pluto guarding this gate, it can take the active, fiery side of Sagittarius and kick it up a few notches. Gabriel may have an intensity about him that can be overwhelming to others, even if he doesn't intend it. If this is the case, he may get negative or off-putting reactions from other children. The intensity may come out in various ways, such as an overtly hyper personality, or more of an undercurrent.

This feedback can make it more difficult for him to make friends, but not impossible. Saturn in his 7th house of friendship indicates it may require a little more work to connect with others, so while he not be one who has a million friends, there are all kinds of different personalities out there to form meaningful connections with one or two best friends.

In short, there's not a lot of cause to worry, although as his mother, you will certainly feel driven to ease his loneliness, understandably! If he's severely anti-social, meaning the problem goes beyond loneliness or feeling a bit of a black sheep, and takes on more extreme behaviors like the inability to empathize with others, or cruelty (beyond the typical child play), that might be cause for real concern. A few social skill hints that are appropriate for his age, or finding a venue that feels more comfortable for him to be social, might be ideas to help him expand his circle, even if it's just to one good friend, but self-validation and independence, even if it comes out of necessity, is greatly useful for him according to his chart.


Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website. If you would like to submit a question for her monthly blog here, email her anytime!

Parenting with Astrology: Speech Development

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 6 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

Stephanie writes:
My son Silas is almost 20 months and seems to be having a harder time than most children his age at verbally communicating his wants and needs. His pediatrician even suggested that we get him into speech therapy, just to help us help him and to ward off any negative behaviors. His father and I are already pretty sure he has ADD. He doesn't pay attention to me very well when I am trying to teach him new words, or he just smiles and nods his head and laughs.

He hasn't gotten really frustrated yet because I've been able to somewhat figure out what he wants. He definitely tries to talk, so he's not disinterested.

I was curious to know if there is any indication in his chart of any type of learning disabilities, and if so, what would be the best way to approach his personality type?

Amy answers:
For questions about communication and speech, Mercury tops the list. Silas' Mercury is in Capricorn in the 11th house, but most interesting at first glance is that it's conjunct his north node, which indicates that it represents part of his life's challenge and soul development. This can and will mean many things, such as learning to communicate with authority (Capricorn), and to let go of any fear or reluctance about sharing his opinions or making it known what he thinks (11th house=public), so there are rich possibilities for development throughout his life when it comes to how he expresses himself as he matures.

Consideration for the overall picture reveals his south node in Cancer in the 5th house, which indicates a potential desire to remain 'in the womb', so to speak, to have his needs taken care of and be sheltered enough to, well, stay young and protected, not having to do for oneself. His Capricorn north node indicates he's come to develop a sense of independence, and self-reliance, hence so many placements in his chart that indicate a need for freedom (such as Uranus in his first house of self, and three planets in freedom-loving Sagittarius). With Uranus prominent in his chart, he can probably be quite stubborn and independent.

In light of this south node, one thing you can do any time you are able is to be conscious of not enabling him by intuiting what he wants, something moms can be very good at, and something that's very instinctual to do, especially when they're still babies! It'll certainly be challenging for him, but without this necessity, he'll easily fall back on south node behaviors of having his needs provided for him.

You expressed concern about potential ADD, which I can't say is or isn't present, as that's for a professional to diagnose, but there are a couple of chart indicators that can sometimes be consistent with that possibility. His Sun and Moon are in Sagittarius and they are in a square to Uranus in Pisces, which is a difficult relationship (getting planets that square each other to work in harmony is challenging--they represent the points of inner tension and self-sabotage in us unless we work consciously with them). He is probably going to be interested in bigger ideas and concepts, tuning in more easily to intuition, sudden knowing, and may have a vulnerability to jumping to conclusions, as he's likely to have little patience for the nuts and bolts of boring things like fact-checking, sentence structure, and the like. ;) He has the makings of a sort of philosopher, though, if he can reign in his thought processes.

His outlook on and style of approaching the world is governed by his Pisces Ascendant, which tends to receive a wide variety of impressions and can sometimes get overloaded by the level of input. This can sometimes make concentration challenging as it he can get not only overloaded, but more easily distracted than some.

To take it down to practical terms, speech therapy, whether or not it's absolutely necessary, isn't a bad idea to assist him. Mercury (planet of communication and learning) is in the sign of Capricorn, and the sign Mercury falls in describes the nature and the method that's most ideal for the learning and communication process. Capricorn benefits from a structure and a clear set of rules and boundaries to understand what is expected. The structure will help him learn to reign himself in and communicate what he needs to, as well as give him the specific tools (sounds, for example) to focus on at this age. A more structured daycare program (as opposed to simple babysitting) may also provide this, although in a less-intensive manner than the one-to-one that speech therapy would provide.

As far as learning disabilities, I don't see anything in the chart that looks too extreme that would indicate severe problems. His Mercury, other than being on his north node and representing a bit of a soul 'learning curve' is otherwise unafflicted (not hampered by difficult aspects) for the most part, so his hurdles in this area shouldn't be gigantic or impossible to overcome. If ADD is present due to other factors I mentioned above, they no doubt can be managed.

Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.

Parenting with Astrology: Aggression

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 5 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

Janine writes:

We are having great difficulty with our 13-year-old son. He is extremely rude, rebellious, hyperactive and attention seeking! It has intensified since November of 2012. I am feeling exhausted by his constant refusal to merge with the family, and am wondering what we can approach from our side, as far as dynamics in the astrology of parent-child goes.

Amy answers:
There are a couple of astrological triggers that I think are stirring this pot. The first is his progressed moon moving through the sign of Aries. The progressed moon is sort of a general emotional barometer for us and it changes signs every couple of years. In Aries, it can mean a time of feisty, fierce energy, especially on someone so young where emotions run so charged and at such a pure concentration of the emotional force (before it's diluted by, oh, maturity and life's wear and tear!)

His natal moon is in the sign of Libra, which is sometimes motivated by keeping everyone happy and generally avoiding confrontation or unpleasantness. So his natural emotional instinct to protect himself is to pretend like nothing is wrong and just keep the peace. But since we can't go through life without ever getting frustrated or angry at someone or something, that anger has to go somewhere. For a Libra Moon, he's vulnerable to stuffing it, so this latest Aries progressed moon passage probably has him releasing years of pent up frustration that he hasn't wanted to deal with in the past. Obviously when it's pent up (coupled with being a teenager), it has to create a lot of force to push past it's blockade, so I think that's why you're seeing such intensity.

Aries is a very naturally combative sign. It's the sign of the warrior, the fighter, the defender. When it doesn't have something to fight, it tends to look for a fight to use some of that spent energy. If you can get him interested in something that is active and has a safe avenue for letting out some aggression like martial arts, for example, that might be a good place to channel it. What he's mainly learning right now is how to handle his anger and to make room for himself, but everything can feel like a threat or a competition right now to him.

The key, and it's never an easy one, may lie in trying not to dis-empower him or belittle him, but at the same time defending your boundaries and your rights as he oversteps and defends his. If you go head to head, upping the ante, he'll probably just push back harder. Being firm and calm is probably your best bet. I say this also because Saturn is currently in Libra right now and has recently, and will again, opposed his own Saturn in his chart. You mentioned these problems starting to intensify around November of 2010, which was the last time moving Saturn opposed his own Saturn. It did so again in April (which is what probably prompted you to write me at your wits end!) and will do so one last time in late July/early August.

Saturn lessons bring lessons of responsibility and maturity, but usually through circumstances or feelings of being thwarted, restrained, or limited. Saturn represents 'the authority' in our lives--the rules and the people who enforce them. For a teenager, that can be parents and teachers, primarily. These Saturn oppositions may feel like he's trapped, like he doesn't have any freedom, or like everyone's always telling him what to do. His emotional response, of course, is to fight, with that progressed moon in Aries.

This may be one of those situations where natural consequences will need to be the teachers, so that he will find it harder to blame negative outcomes on the authorities who treated him 'unfairly'. This can mean giving him a little more room to screw up, which is never easy. It's sort of 'stealth parenting,' as in don't let them know you're parenting them by pretending to be staying out of the things they did or didn't do that caused them their own problem.

The hard news is that he's going to chafe at his restraints, whatever form they may take, regardless of how easy or hard you try to make it for him. Saturn oppositions teach a hard lesson with reality: head meets wall, and the wall doesn't yield, so the person must if they don't want to give themselves a headache. The good news is that it will not be so intense for much longer. The confrontation with Saturn may be the most frustrating and that will be over by the end of August. His progressed moon will move into Taurus after the new year, which should lessen the aggression in general as well.

Good luck and thanks for your question!

Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.

Parenting with Astrology: Managing Learning Issues

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 5 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, I’d like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

Jenna writes:

My 8-year-old son is a very unique child. I say this with some experience as he is the 5th of five others. He has poor social skills and is a late reader. He does seem to struggle in school, yet his imagination is vivid. He often states, "I'm going to make an amazing invention when I grow up." Any insights you can provide will be much appreciated.

With questions regarding learning and communication, we typically begin with Mercury, the planet of the mind, learning, and communication and in this case, Mercury is conjunct his Sun in Sagittarius. Sagittarius is the sign of the philosopher and part of that is because Sagittarius takes what it knows and has experienced and puts it together. It's opposite sign, Gemini, disseminates information, takes it apart and looks at all the pieces, but Sagittarius is about pattern recognition and seeing things holistically. It connects the dots, not typically in an A to B to C fashion, but in bigger and simultaneous leaps. 

It's doubtful that there's going to be any issue with his intelligence. The struggle he may have is going to be more along the lines of getting everything he's absorbing in some kind of order. In grade school, we're learning the ABCs--literally of course, but also in terms of method. We crawl before we walk. We learn the alphabet before we read. We need to understand each dot before we connect them, but it's quite possible that he's almost too impatient to do that easily. So some of the challenge may be getting him to slow down, not just in attitude about learning, but in the way his mind works and processes information. He may just need some specific tools in order to help him do that, whether it's an issue of extra tutoring or learning exercises and tools that fit certain learning disabilities. It's important that I be clear: he may not necessarily have a learning disability - that's not what I specifically see in the chart; you'll want to have him evaluated if you think he has enough struggle to determine that. All I am doing is taking your cues in already knowing there may be an issue and looking at the way he learns and what that issue might be.

He also has Saturn in Gemini. While there are many positive aspects of Saturn, it can often represent some aspect of our lives that is difficult. It is through continued effort, discipline, and practice that we are able to acquire the skills we need to succeed wherever Saturn lies. Saturn is Time itself--nothing happens quickly where Saturn is concerned. I mentioned a little of what Gemini represents above - learning to take ideas apart and see the facts, the building blocks, the components of how something works. Saturn in Gemini and also retrograde, simply means that it will take more effort for him than for some to master Gemini: learning, communication, and the ability to manipulate information and data. This is fully within his ability but it will not come quickly, another reason why giving him tools to help the process as I mentioned in the above paragraph will help him get a leg up. Saturn likes tools!

I think he's right about making that amazing invention. Mars is in an exceptionally tight conjunction with Uranus, so his motivation, passion, and will (Mars) is irrevocably tied to his desire to pursue his individuality and investigate the unusual (Uranus). Uranus is the planet of invention because it is everything opposite of convention so it thinks outside of the norm.

Thanks for your question!