Monday, September 05, 2011

Parenting with Astrology: Socializing

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 6 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to

Yahaira writes:
My son Gabriel has trouble socializing with other children. A few years ago, his 1st grade teacher told me that she's concerned about him because he keeps to himself at recess and doesn't actively try to play with the other children. She'd partner him up with a friend, but then he would go off by himself again. I know that he feels very lonely at times and feels left out and misunderstood by the other children, but I don't know how to help him or if I can help him.

Does his chart show why he isolates himself?

Amy answers:
Let's look at the broader picture first, and then whittle it down to the practical concern you voiced in your question.

If Gabriel often isolates himself, some of the reasons behind it may not be entirely worrisome. Gabriel has a Capricorn Moon, which tends to be more of a self-sufficient sign. Children with significant Capricorn energy in their charts are often the ones you see playing in their room on their own, content and happy, for hours. Capricorn tends to turn inward on itself, solving its own problems and finding its own entertainment. His moon is also in the first house, called the house of self, which further emphasizes this inner focus.

His Sun, Venus, and Jupiter are all gathered in Leo in the 8th house, which is also a private, inward-focused house. Leo is usually considered a very boisterous and outgoing sign, but not all Leos are loud-mouthed show-offs as their stereotypes would have us believe (nor is every Virgo a fussy, librarian type, nor all Cancers mother to 15 children -- you get the picture). The key element of Leo is self-expression, feeling that they have something in them that wants to shine and expressing themselves in any way they like. Leo is also about self-appreciation in the best sense, but sometimes learning to let yourself shine is a learned behavior, and having enough confidence to not hold yourself back out of fear of what others think. Since this desire to shine is in an inward-focused house, he shines 'inward', for his own pleasure and for those he trusts and can let into those private spaces.

I've always been a believer in the philosophy "your chart isn't what you are, it's what you are learning, practicing, and becoming." So three planets in the self-expressive/self-appreciative sign of Leo, and the self-referencing, independent influence of the Capricorn Moon, tells me that he has a need to build an inner sense of self-appreciation and confidence, not necessarily built on others' praise or opinion, but his own measurements.

The biggest 'culprit' here might be Pluto, as it sits right on his Sagittarius Ascendant. The Ascendant acts as sort of the gateway to us. It is how we interface with the world socially and how we appear to others, how we seem to be. There are many different factors incorporated into that: our demeanor, our style of dress, etc. A Sagittarius Ascendant usually lends a lot of optimism and a devil-may-care demeanor that others find entertaining, but with Pluto guarding this gate, it can take the active, fiery side of Sagittarius and kick it up a few notches. Gabriel may have an intensity about him that can be overwhelming to others, even if he doesn't intend it. If this is the case, he may get negative or off-putting reactions from other children. The intensity may come out in various ways, such as an overtly hyper personality, or more of an undercurrent.

This feedback can make it more difficult for him to make friends, but not impossible. Saturn in his 7th house of friendship indicates it may require a little more work to connect with others, so while he not be one who has a million friends, there are all kinds of different personalities out there to form meaningful connections with one or two best friends.

In short, there's not a lot of cause to worry, although as his mother, you will certainly feel driven to ease his loneliness, understandably! If he's severely anti-social, meaning the problem goes beyond loneliness or feeling a bit of a black sheep, and takes on more extreme behaviors like the inability to empathize with others, or cruelty (beyond the typical child play), that might be cause for real concern. A few social skill hints that are appropriate for his age, or finding a venue that feels more comfortable for him to be social, might be ideas to help him expand his circle, even if it's just to one good friend, but self-validation and independence, even if it comes out of necessity, is greatly useful for him according to his chart.

Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website. If you would like to submit a question for her monthly blog here, email her anytime!
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