Thursday, May 05, 2011

Parenting with Astrology: Aggression

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 5 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to

Janine writes:
We are having great difficulty with our 13-year-old son. He is extremely rude, rebellious, hyperactive and attention seeking! It has intensified since November of 2012. I am feeling exhausted by his constant refusal to merge with the family, and am wondering what we can approach from our side, as far as dynamics in the astrology of parent-child goes.

Amy answers:
There are a couple of astrological triggers that I think are stirring this pot. The first is his progressed moon moving through the sign of Aries. The progressed moon is sort of a general emotional barometer for us and it changes signs every couple of years. In Aries, it can mean a time of feisty, fierce energy, especially on someone so young where emotions run so charged and at such a pure concentration of the emotional force (before it's diluted by, oh, maturity and life's wear and tear!)

His natal moon is in the sign of Libra, which is sometimes motivated by keeping everyone happy and generally avoiding confrontation or unpleasantness. So his natural emotional instinct to protect himself is to pretend like nothing is wrong and just keep the peace. But since we can't go through life without ever getting frustrated or angry at someone or something, that anger has to go somewhere. For a Libra Moon, he's vulnerable to stuffing it, so this latest Aries progressed moon passage probably has him releasing years of pent up frustration that he hasn't wanted to deal with in the past. Obviously when it's pent up (coupled with being a teenager), it has to create a lot of force to push past it's blockade, so I think that's why you're seeing such intensity.

Aries is a very naturally combative sign. It's the sign of the warrior, the fighter, the defender. When it doesn't have something to fight, it tends to look for a fight to use some of that spent energy. If you can get him interested in something that is active and has a safe avenue for letting out some aggression like martial arts, for example, that might be a good place to channel it. What he's mainly learning right now is how to handle his anger and to make room for himself, but everything can feel like a threat or a competition right now to him.

The key, and it's never an easy one, may lie in trying not to dis-empower him or belittle him, but at the same time defending your boundaries and your rights as he oversteps and defends his. If you go head to head, upping the ante, he'll probably just push back harder. Being firm and calm is probably your best bet. I say this also because Saturn is currently in Libra right now and has recently, and will again, opposed his own Saturn in his chart. You mentioned these problems starting to intensify around November of 2010, which was the last time moving Saturn opposed his own Saturn. It did so again in April (which is what probably prompted you to write me at your wits end!) and will do so one last time in late July/early August.

Saturn lessons bring lessons of responsibility and maturity, but usually through circumstances or feelings of being thwarted, restrained, or limited. Saturn represents 'the authority' in our lives--the rules and the people who enforce them. For a teenager, that can be parents and teachers, primarily. These Saturn oppositions may feel like he's trapped, like he doesn't have any freedom, or like everyone's always telling him what to do. His emotional response, of course, is to fight, with that progressed moon in Aries.

This may be one of those situations where natural consequences will need to be the teachers, so that he will find it harder to blame negative outcomes on the authorities who treated him 'unfairly'. This can mean giving him a little more room to screw up, which is never easy. It's sort of 'stealth parenting,' as in don't let them know you're parenting them by pretending to be staying out of the things they did or didn't do that caused them their own problem.

The hard news is that he's going to chafe at his restraints, whatever form they may take, regardless of how easy or hard you try to make it for him. Saturn oppositions teach a hard lesson with reality: head meets wall, and the wall doesn't yield, so the person must if they don't want to give themselves a headache. The good news is that it will not be so intense for much longer. The confrontation with Saturn may be the most frustrating and that will be over by the end of August. His progressed moon will move into Taurus after the new year, which should lessen the aggression in general as well.

Good luck and thanks for your question!

Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.
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