Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 5 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, I’d like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions to amy@heavenlytruth.com.
Kayla writes:
My son Taylor seems to have a stronger competitive streak than I've seen in other kids. He goes ballistic when he doesn't win, crying and whining. When he does win, he likes to 'rub it in,' and he often feels the need to point out when someone else is doing poorly in a game (mostly, it seems, to differentiate that he is not doing as poorly). He also tends to make a competition out of a lot of things, not just games. Where does this come from?
This is an issue that Taylor was born with as it's wrapped up with nodes, particularly in the planets that are involved with his nodes. With the south node in his first house, he's entered this life feeling like he needs to look out for himself, and possibly finding it difficult to trust others or work in partnership with others, since Venus, the planet of relationship in the house of relationship is opposed his south node, which is a stressful aspect.
His Moon is in Virgo and is forming a square
(also a stressful aspect) to his
north and south nodes. A Virgo Moon has a strong emotional desire to feel like they are their best, which can often easily get mistranslated to having to be The Best, not just their best. Virgo has an inherent understanding of flaws and a natural critical eye, so it's all too good at seeing what is wrong with everything, starting with themselves. In the context of his south node (the above paragraph), he's operating on a subconscious level of thinking of everything in terms of me (first house south node) vs. them (venus in the 7th house of relationship). His measurement of whether or not he succeeds or is the best he can be is often in comparison of others' abilities then, not his own.
In the 10th house, there is a desire to stand out to the world as being the best, so again, it's not just his personal best, but it's the measurement of the world that counts, and measurable successes in the world.
On the other side of his chart is another square to his nodes, Mars, and Uranus. Uranus is directly opposed his Moon, in the sign of Pisces and the 4th house. This is a very 'just be yourself, trust yourself, and forgive yourself,' kind of signature. So he has two opposing desires in himself that he fights against: the desire to just relax into who he is, and the desire to stretch beyond who he is, and both of these desires are always measured against what other people are doing and thinking.
Mars is also close by, but in Aquarius in the 3rd house, which has a similar desire as Uranus, but is more particularly aimed at his voice, his intelligence, and his opinions (3rd house), and his ability to be comfortable with looking at things a little differently (Aquarius) than others might see them. However, since there's a focus and a comparison on other people, he might have a built in desire but insecurity regarding what he sees, learns, and believes, vs. what other people see and believe. This is further demonstrated by the fact that Mercury, the planet of our voice, intelligence, and opinions, is opposite his south node along with Venus, so it's not just other people, but what other people think that causes him the greatest stress.
This goes a bit beyond a simple "I want others to like me and think I'm good" idea, however. This is more about how a mistrust and a difficulty in cooperation with others interacts in a challenging way with his inherent and already challenging inner war: be the best, perfect, and successful at everything you do, but just be yourself too. When he is not his best (Virgo Moon), he is very hurt and possibly quite ashamed, especially if others are watching or measuring him (even others that are kind and non-judgmental), so he'll be likely to defend himself from feeling vulnerable and 'wrong' with anger (Mars).
This is something he'll be working out throughout his life, but of course it's sharper and more extreme in childhood, before he's learned many coping mechanisms for the jumble of feelings that come up inside of him when he loses at anything. Here are a couple of ideas to focus on, to teach him to understand his feelings, and to cope.
Be sure to listen to him. When he is expressing frustration, the best way for him to get it out is to talk about it. Don't cut him off or just tell him to get over it; that may be more likely to foster the mistrust vs. build him up or help him cope.
Play cooperative games and activities often. Find games and other activities that have a teamwork component built into them, where it's everyone working toward a goal together, and everyone can bring their own unique abilities to the table with everyone sharing in the success. These can be challenging situations for him because he'll still want to approach the situation as competitive, but it can help him to see life situations where competition isn't needed and even gets in the way.
Don't avoid competitive situations. It can be tempting to avoid situations where his temper will rise, but these are prime situations where you can help him learn how to redirect himself, by allowing him to learn to cope with what to do his feelings if he loses and how to try again (Virgo can have a vulnerability to not wanting to try if they can't do it right the first time).
Give him examples from your own life or heroes he may look up to that didn't always get it right (like pro-sports players that weren't always good at the game, or inventors who got it 'wrong' a lot first, etc.).
Hopefully these suggestions are helpful. Thanks for your question!
This is an issue that Taylor was born with as it's wrapped up with nodes, particularly in the planets that are involved with his nodes. With the south node in his first house, he's entered this life feeling like he needs to look out for himself, and possibly finding it difficult to trust others or work in partnership with others, since Venus, the planet of relationship in the house of relationship is opposed his south node, which is a stressful aspect.His Moon is in Virgo and is forming a square
(also a stressful aspect) to his
north and south nodes. A Virgo Moon has a strong emotional desire to feel like they are their best, which can often easily get mistranslated to having to be The Best, not just their best. Virgo has an inherent understanding of flaws and a natural critical eye, so it's all too good at seeing what is wrong with everything, starting with themselves. In the context of his south node (the above paragraph), he's operating on a subconscious level of thinking of everything in terms of me (first house south node) vs. them (venus in the 7th house of relationship). His measurement of whether or not he succeeds or is the best he can be is often in comparison of others' abilities then, not his own.In the 10th house, there is a desire to stand out to the world as being the best, so again, it's not just his personal best, but it's the measurement of the world that counts, and measurable successes in the world.
On the other side of his chart is another square to his nodes, Mars, and Uranus. Uranus is directly opposed his Moon, in the sign of Pisces and the 4th house. This is a very 'just be yourself, trust yourself, and forgive yourself,' kind of signature. So he has two opposing desires in himself that he fights against: the desire to just relax into who he is, and the desire to stretch beyond who he is, and both of these desires are always measured against what other people are doing and thinking.
Mars is also close by, but in Aquarius in the 3rd house, which has a similar desire as Uranus, but is more particularly aimed at his voice, his intelligence, and his opinions (3rd house), and his ability to be comfortable with looking at things a little differently (Aquarius) than others might see them. However, since there's a focus and a comparison on other people, he might have a built in desire but insecurity regarding what he sees, learns, and believes, vs. what other people see and believe. This is further demonstrated by the fact that Mercury, the planet of our voice, intelligence, and opinions, is opposite his south node along with Venus, so it's not just other people, but what other people think that causes him the greatest stress.
This goes a bit beyond a simple "I want others to like me and think I'm good" idea, however. This is more about how a mistrust and a difficulty in cooperation with others interacts in a challenging way with his inherent and already challenging inner war: be the best, perfect, and successful at everything you do, but just be yourself too. When he is not his best (Virgo Moon), he is very hurt and possibly quite ashamed, especially if others are watching or measuring him (even others that are kind and non-judgmental), so he'll be likely to defend himself from feeling vulnerable and 'wrong' with anger (Mars).
This is something he'll be working out throughout his life, but of course it's sharper and more extreme in childhood, before he's learned many coping mechanisms for the jumble of feelings that come up inside of him when he loses at anything. Here are a couple of ideas to focus on, to teach him to understand his feelings, and to cope.
Be sure to listen to him. When he is expressing frustration, the best way for him to get it out is to talk about it. Don't cut him off or just tell him to get over it; that may be more likely to foster the mistrust vs. build him up or help him cope.Play cooperative games and activities often. Find games and other activities that have a teamwork component built into them, where it's everyone working toward a goal together, and everyone can bring their own unique abilities to the table with everyone sharing in the success. These can be challenging situations for him because he'll still want to approach the situation as competitive, but it can help him to see life situations where competition isn't needed and even gets in the way.
Don't avoid competitive situations. It can be tempting to avoid situations where his temper will rise, but these are prime situations where you can help him learn how to redirect himself, by allowing him to learn to cope with what to do his feelings if he loses and how to try again (Virgo can have a vulnerability to not wanting to try if they can't do it right the first time).
Give him examples from your own life or heroes he may look up to that didn't always get it right (like pro-sports players that weren't always good at the game, or inventors who got it 'wrong' a lot first, etc.).
Hopefully these suggestions are helpful. Thanks for your question!
Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.
