Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, I’d like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions to amy@heavenlytruth.com.
Boston asks:
My girlfriend's son Rowan always has to wear a costume--not uncommon for 4 year olds, but it seems excessive for him. He won't go anywhere without a costume even if it's just a hat. He has tantrums or fits if he doesn't have a costume. He has to change his costume with each character he watches. So he must become Captain Jack to watch Pirates of the Carribean or put on his Spiderman shirt to watch that, etc. It's like he's "trying on" different personas, but he does it so much he never seems to want to be Rowan. What is behind this urge?
This is one of those questions where the astrological source just leaps out immediately. Rowan has his Sun and Saturn in the first house in Leo, and Mercury in Leo in the second (it's retrograde--we'll visit that in a moment).
Leo is a sign that's built for self-expression, but it's not just about constantly pouring one's every thought out into the atmosphere for everyone to see. The desire to express oneself comes from the urge to create, and the outward expression of something in a creative way comes from something deep within us, that lies in our quiet, inner selves far before it manifests outside of us. With his Sun in Leo, Rowan is learning about the self via the creative process. This is doubly significant because it is also in the first house of self. Trying on these roles and characters is a way to experience the self - he's literally creating it as he goes. This is typical Leo style; it's why it's the sign of drama and performance art. In some ways he may be taking pieces from what he likes in others, and in imagining himself as that character, he can find some part of him that identifies with it (unconsciously of course - he's only 4!)
Saturn here shows that this is not an easy thing for him - to figure out who he is. It's not an identity crisis as much as it is a blind spot. He's trying to experience himself; not just know himself, but create that self too. It's challenging work, so trying on the roles of others helps give him something to focus on as he tries to create himself. The reason it may be so extreme is that it may be the only outlet that he really understands, enjoys, and is working for him. Plus, Leos love to play. He's fulfilling two desires at once: play and bringing something inside of himself out, something he doesn't even understand yet.
A more subtle undertone is that Rowan has his south node in Libra in the 4th house, which can indicate he's more comfortable hanging back in among the support of his family and not typically taking the lead or fighting for something on his own as much (with the Aries north node in the 10th house, that's what he's come to learn). A 4th house south node may indicate a tendency toward shyness or simply introvertedness, and libra can have him oriented toward feeling safe when he gets others to like him. Cancer Rising echoes this. It's one of the reasons he has all the Leo he does-to learn to shine bravely on his own.
However, in applying it to this situation, my hunch is that any shyness may be only minorly contributing, if at all. It may just be a red herring (pardon the pun!) If you find that he's very stubborn about continuing this behavior, you'll know he's working his Mars in Taurus: planting his feet and holding his ground. With that 4th house Libra south node, he's come from a place of blending in with the family as a peacekeeper, so to stand out and firm up his identity, he's going to have to learn not to acquiesce just for the good of keeping the peace with others.A few small things that contribute: his Moon is trine Neptune, so fantasy is a way to access and express his feelings. Also, Mercury is retrograde in Leo. Later, that will show up as him trying to gain confidence in his voice, but for now, it may simply be a reinforcer that role play is an easier way for him to express himself than in a direct fashion. When Mercury is retrograde, sometimes it can take a little longer for thoughts to come to the surface. His Gemini Moon should help him with that, though. This may even be a great way for you to reach him if you are trying to teach him something: picking a character that he identifies with and using a scene from that movie to help him understand what you're trying to teach him or the point you're trying to make. Sometimes with Cancer Rising, you can't just go right at something because it can make them feel unsafe or invaded by the intensity. Coming at an idea through a character example might be a useful tool as a way for him to hear what you're telling him with a sort of buffer.
Thanks for a great question!
Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.
