Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Parenting with Astrology: Childhood Anxiety

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 5 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to amy@heavenlytruth.com.

Jan writes:
My son is only 13 months old, but I can already sense he has considerable anxiety. What can I do to assure my little Virgo?

Well, your son certainly does have enough Virgo to worry himself! Virgos have many lovely and life-affirming qualities which we'll discuss before we're done, but on the "tough-to-be-a-Virgo" side of things, anxiety certainly does have its place. Virgos often fret about not living up to standards, doing things incorrectly or themselves (or life) getting out of control and these worries, in a 13-month-old fashion, may be infiltrating. At his young age, however, the anxiety is probably more primal than the damage-control urges and 'what-ifs' that plague the typical Virgo.

As an evolutionary astrologer, my eye is often drawn to the south node of the moon, but I find myself doubly compelled to do so with children as so often, concerns of the parent(s) tend to find answers in the child's south node. The south node reveals where our comfort zone is, how we tend to look at life and react to life on an instinctual level. The rest of the chart can almost be looked at as new tools the soul is learning to use as they strive to get a greater perspective about life beyond the south node. When a soul is young, they are almost all instinctual, so the moon and it's south node are often primary sources of understanding into their behaviors.

Your son's south node is in Cancer in the 7th house. Cancer, like all signs, has many facets, but one of its needs is to feel secure, to protect and be protected. Cancer is often called the sign of home and family because, especially for children, home and family provide the nurturing and safe environment for them to explore their world. The 7th house is the area of life where we focus most on one-to-one interactions: typically called the house of marriage or partnership. But in a baby's life, obviously the primary relationship is a parent. So babies need to feel safety with their parents, there's no surprise! But multiply the need twenty times in your son's case and you'll start to understand the intensity of that need. He may show this by being particularly clingy with one parent, for example, as a longer term issue rather than just a phase attached to a particular stage of development.

Separation anxiety, whether it shows up as literal fear to be physically separated from you or branches out into various behaviors, will be the most difficult for him to navigate, so helping him trust that he can count on you to be there while encouraging independent behaviors will be the goal over his development. He is learning to depend on himself in this lifetime, and in doing so, he'll need to learn that sometimes in order to prove to himself that he is more capable than he thinks, he'll need to do things alone.

So ultimately that is the line you'll be walking. But at his age, perhaps the best thing to focus on is just building his trust that you're there, and that even when you need to go away, you come back and that you won't abandon him. The next steps will be helping him realize that while you are his mother, you are also a person with needs and have to take care of yourself as well as him, thereby teaching him the independence that he is trying to learn himself. Sometimes he will want you have him attached at your hip when you need time for yourself for sanity, or merely when necessity pulls you away, and its during these times that careful navigation will be required so that he knows he's safe and loved, but that he will be ok while you nurture yourself. Teach him that you're a mommy and a woman and a ... (whatever other hats you wear!)

There will be time enough as he grows to help him recognize that life isn't exactly a safe proposition and sometimes facing that reality as gently but realistically as he is able can empower him! He's got Uranus, the planet of individuality, opposed his Sun, Moon, and Saturn, so his chart's tools will be pushing him to stretch his legs away from mom soon enough.

Would you like some input on how to understand and nurture your child in the most effective way for their unique needs? Amy offers readings for parents and children; find out more at her website.
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4 comments:

  1. I have a brother who was a Virgo and this description you provided was right on the mark! Virgos always need that reassurance that you're there for them.

    Great post! I love your articles!

    - Alyssa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much, Alyssa!

    ReplyDelete
  3. A detailed and through article.

    ReplyDelete

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