Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Parenting with Astrology: High Expectations

Amy Herring has been a professional astrologer for 15 years and a proud mother for 7 of those years. She has joyfully accepted Mlle. Kiddie’s gracious offer to share her thoughts once a month here at Kiddie Star Signs. To find out more about Amy and her personal readings for parents and children, visit her website at http://heavenlytruth.com.

Money and fame don’t solve every problem. Celebrity moms have their hopes and worries for their children too. However, Mlle. Kiddie would like to offer ‘everyday’ moms a chance to see astrology put into action to answer their parenting questions. After all, famous or not, you’re the world to your kids! If you’ve got a question about your child that you’d like Amy to answer, send your questions any time to amy@heavenlytruth.com.
Joanne writes:
Elijah is very driven and excels in everything he sets his mind to. He is super hardworking and thrives best when he is at the top of his game. He sets very high expectations for himself and I am also very driven and at times catch myself setting high expectations for him.

I am a bit concerned that all this pressure to do well and exceed expectations might be too much for him. He has never complained or expressed that things are hard for him but I do know he keeps a lot in and he definitely won't share if he thinks it will disappoint me or my hubby. Does Elijah have the personality type to be successful in this type of environment? Can he really handle it?
Elijah 8 years old ~ click to enlarge

Amy answers:

Elijah's south node lies in Scorpio, so he'll bring intensity and tenacity to anything he does, putting his whole being into it (for better or worse), and is probably where he gets a great deal of his drive. With an Aries moon, he's got a competitive streak as well, wanting to be first, best, highest. This part of him is not really about achievement or goals as much as it is the thrill and instinct of pushing oneself to an edge and beyond. The main issue I'd watch for there is if he's doing anything dangerous or hurtful to himself, or if any competitiveness gets out of hand where it's so important to be first and best that he's driving himself too far or alienating others. There is no prediction that he will do that, only that this is the nature of the things you'd want to keep an eye on.

Elsewhere in his chart lies Mars and Mercury, in the sign of Leo. Mars and Mercury play an important role in his chart for a number of reasons, one of which is that they are part of helping him learn a larger soul lesson in this life. With a Scorpio south node, there is a vulnerability to being so consumed or driven by something that we lose ourselves, our perspective, and/or our sense of humor. Mars and Mercury in Leo are about him learning to play for creativity's sake, for enjoyment, and for self-expression. He will be learning, over this lifetime, that whatever he pursues has to be because of his love for it and enjoyment of it, not out of duty or competitiveness or anything else, and his best clue will be if he's having fun or not. 

Fun is different than satisfaction or accomplishment. This is not meant to be the typical lecture that we may give to children who are upset that they are losing a game, where we try to appease them by saying "it doesn't matter if you win or lose, just that you have fun," it's that participating in a wide variety of experiences, and experimenting, and having fun doing it, and playing freely for playing's sake, are ways that he's learning to let go of some of the overkill of his Scorpio south node intensity and move toward embracing his north node in Taurus, which is about a calm, easy-going naturalness, to balance out some of that intensity and give him perspective in life in general, not just about whatever he's immediately consumed with. Scorpio can be an all-or-nothing kind of energy, and can lose sense of the bigger picture and other things that are important, as their focus can be too narrowed to only their desire.

He has his lifetime to learn these things! But in the meantime, what you can do is keep your eye on competitiveness or intensity that gets out of hand, that is too consuming. Engaging in a variety of activities that are not goal-oriented or contest-oriented can be good for him, although don't force it, because otherwise it's not play, it's only a different kind of work. Encourage him to try other activities as well. He's got a Gemini Ascendant, so approaching life by putting a toe into lots of different experiences can be good for him as he's naturally very curious.

His Cancer Sun is very close to Saturn, which can also represent drive and accomplishment, but in this case, may also contain another layer of how challenging it can be for him to acknowledge his vulnerabilities and soft insides. The close-mouthed trait you mentioned in your question may in part be due to this, and part because he's more of an experiencing person rather than an analytical, objective person. He doesn't think about his feelings, he just acts from them, so describing them to you is a step he probably often skips! These planets are in the second house, the house of worth and value, so there may be a hint of insecurity that he runs past with all his other boisterous and outgoing personality traits. Knowing he is well-loved, safe, and special goes a long way for any child, but especially for a Cancer one and is the best medicine, if this is an issue for him at all. Don't belittle achievement, but take care to keep it separate - only as a pleasant outcome to the really important thing, which is enjoyment of and dedication to whatever he's doing.

Thanks for your question!
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